Apparently my body is neither too old to MAKE or DELIVER a baby, but is too old to carry said baby around. This past week I've been plagued with a "bad back." Even just talking about it makes me feel like a very old person - the kind who talk about their ailments all the time because nothing else seems as interesting. The bad back, I think, comes with the million times a day that I'm traveling up and down the stairs carrying a 15 pound bundle of joy, and from lifting that bundle up off the floor nearly as many times. You see, for the baby's safety, you're not supposed to put her up high. On anything. At all. She sits on the floor, lays on the floor, plays with toys on the floor, and every piece of little baby equipment must rest on the floor. The baby-thing manufacturers warn you, in large labels on their product, with helpful cautions like:
1. Do not place the Bumbo seat on an elevated surface. We've totally designed it to look like a McDonald's booster seat, but don't even THINK about putting it up on a chair.
2. Do not fill the Exersaucer with water.
3. Do not use the Exersaucer as a sled. (I would never have thought of this one on my own, but now that the Evenflo people have given me the idea, it sounds fantastic!)
4. Do not attempt to carry the bouncy seat while also juggling the phone, the TV remote, the salad spinner, and a school permission slip.
5. Do not carry your baby up and down the stairs all day. Do not pick her up off the floor an equal number of times. Or, if you do, remember to bend at the knees.